Detroit Lions Weblog

Marty Mornihnweg Named Co-Offensive Coordinator, Wayne Fontes Named Assistant to Team President Matt Millen, Joey Harrington to Quit Football

In what amounts to being one of the craziest and busiest evenings in team history, the Lions held a 11:59 P.M. press conference on March 31st to make three major announcements.

1) Marty Mornihnweg has returned to Detroit and joins Mike Martz as Co-Offensive Coordinator. It has also been reported that Mornihnweg will resume his professional career as a QB. For those who are unaware, Mornihnweg was a successful Arena League QB and we are all quite aware of Mike Martz’s past success with Arena League-seasoned QB’s.

2) Wayne Fontes, The “Big Buck”, has returned to the fold. He will help Matt Millen run football operations and will have a major impact on the team’s draft preparation. Fontes, the most succesful coach in recent Lion’s history, will also provide some much needed motivational spark as the team embarks on it’s hoped for organizational turnaround.

3) Joey Harrington has hung up his spikes. He was recently signed to a multi-record deal by jazz label Concord Records. Harrington’s debut recording will cover similar terrain to artists like Bruce Hornsby, Dave Matthews Band and Billy Joel. Harrington’s album will feature a varied array of guests rumoured to include the likes of Steve Mariucci, Jason Mraz, Peter Cincotti, Clay Aiken, Bill Clinton, Bono and Nike CEO/Oregon Duck fanboy Phil Knight, who will make his debut as a “gangsta” rapper. Harrington also is rumoured to have begun dating hollywood starlet Nicole Richie, infamous for her role on the popular FOX reality television program, “Simple Life”.

The NFL world has evolved so much that it now revolves all year ’round for 24 hours a day. Yet, last nights announcements are unfathomable and have to be among the strangest ever in league history. Lion’s fans can only hope that with the team’s recent major announcements that the heavily rumored plans by the Ford’s to sell the team to the International Order of Rosicrucians will temporarily cease. Even with the family’s economic struggles with their primary business Ford Motors, it would be an unmitigated blunder to sell their favorite toy (The Lions) to such a shadowy and seemingly nefarious group of investors.