Detroit Lions Weblog

The Lions-Living Comic Theatre?

The events of the last couple of days in Allen Park for the Lions have caused me to wonder if the Lions are enacting a staged living theatrical interpretation of a great lost Mel Brooks football story? How else can you sort out the sordid, dare I say lurid (?), chain of events that have occurred over the last couple of days.

The team’s owners are among the most prestigious and rich citizens of the United States. They own one of the more recognizable and at one time successful brand name auto company’s in the entire world. Their company was largely responsible for inventing the American middle class. The son of the team owner, perceived to be the savior and innovator for the family business, for all intents and purposes gets demoted from his rightful throne as head of the company and will now rejoin his father in maintaining their very expensive and unsuccessful folly, the Lions. The son, who is responsible for recommending that his father hire a blustery and inept team president, will likely interject himself into the day-to-day operations of the team and potentially, according to speculation, will support the possibility of the team’s chief financial figure, Tom Lewand, assuming greater responsibility within the organization likely igniting a viscious internal power struggle within an already beleaguered front office of the team.

Meanwhile, amongst all of this dysfunctional turmoil, the Lions who have a new coach who acts if he believes he is a reincarnation of George Patton, has to face preparing a team who doesn’t look close to being ready to face last year’s Super Bowl runner-up. Amidst that pressure, one of Sgt. Rock’s lieutenants decides to get a little drunk after hours and is arrested–WHILE DRIVING NUDE! Admittedly, this joyride may sound somewhat gratifying and deliciously adventurous, but how in god’s name did he get into his car in the nude and where was he leaving from? Can all of this be really happening?

The Lions are 21-59 during Matt Millen’s tenure as team president. These events give little cause for wonder why the team has been so unsuccessful. Who really is in charge here? Recently departed ex-Lion R.W. McQuarters had some very enlightening things to say about his time in Detroit to a Sports Illustrated writer. McQuarters plaintively states what has been apparent to Lion fans for many years now. The team is missing the consistent organizational leadership to ever emerge from it’s continual quagmire. As I mentally prepare myself for the upcoming season, you really have to wonder when this farce is going to end.