Good God, Not Even the Lions, or Their Fans, are This Pathetic

November 18, 2009 on 5:51 pm | In Uncategorized | 2 Comments

You want a sure sign that a franchise is reeling, and is running out of answers internally, I give you, the LeBrowns.

The asininity propelling this idea is qualitatively worse than a clearly-grasping-at-straws Michigan State fan base wondering openly if their future hall of fame basketball coach, Tom Izzo, could resuscitate their flagging football program a couple of years ago.


If LeBron James truly believes he can help the Cleveland Browns, coach Eric Mangini has an orange helmet waiting for him.

“I think he should come on down,” Mangini said.

The NBA superstar, who was an all-state wide receiver in high school, said Tuesday night that if he put the time and commitment into it, he could be a good football player. Mangini agreed, calling James “a freak athletically” and said the six-foot-eight, 260-pounder could be dangerous at tight end, wide receiver or even outside linebacker.

Here is some late-breaking news, LeBron James hasn’t played football in nearly 10 years. He hasn’t played beyond the high school level. He just happens to have the potential to be considered among the all-time NBA greats, if his career continues on it’s current tack. Why, with an impending large payday due to him, would he ever consider a return to football? Since it worked so great for Bo Jackson, Deion Sanders, and Brian Jordan playing multiple sports? Does anyone remember Renaldo Nehemiah or Ron Brown, coming to football absent any big-time experience?

Of course, there is the ever-affable, “Big Baby” Shaun Rogers, who although conspicuous in his absence throughout the entire 2009 season, will likely re-emerge just in time to embarass his former teammates, the Lions. Rogers, a sulking, surly presence, and known for his incredible athletic ability and versatility considering his largesse, had this to say about James:

Browns nose tackle Shaun Rogers isn’t convinced James, as great as he is, could step into the NFL and be able to handle the pounding.

“I heard that comment,” Rogers said. “I have mixed emotions about that. A great athlete? Yes. A football player? No.”

Rogers then looked into TV cameras.

“Yeah LeBron, I said it,” he said. “It’s a punishing game. I just don’t think you can step off the basketball court after not going through this year in and year out and just play football. From that standpoint, I just don’t think it’s possible. You have to weather and condition your body to take this punishment.”

So what if James had a year to train? Could he do it then?

“Yeah, he might make a heckuva tight end,” Rogers said. “I’d like to see him out there running down the seam.”

It is bad enough that the state of Michigan lost the Toledo War, where the Dawg Pound was originally inaugurated, that the University of Michigan is routinely embarassed by the Ohio State Buckeyes, and the Lions/Browns “rivalry”, which was once great in the 1950′s, has been reduced to an annual battle over a less-than-highly-contested, pre-season trophy, The Great Lakes Trophy. Then there is Sunday’s game, which should be considered among the worst all-time, in-season NFL game match-ups.

Of course, there is the idiotic, developmentally disabled, “Dawg Pound”, which is an embarassment, not only to the Browns, but all of football!

The Dawg Pound

even more emblematic:

Bone Lady

Where’s Drew Carey?

Oh, the Shame!

or the Masters of the Gridiron?

These are among the many reasons that Cleveland Sucks

What’s next Browns fans, now that Travis “Pronk” Hafner is off of performance enhancing drugs, Hafner playing outside linebacker? Browns fans, or recent parolees, we thank you for exposing the dignity and class of a dwindling Detroit Lions fan base. Regarding the LeBrowns, take it away, Nell!

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